when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
