theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize