I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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