Farmville is her only friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
