The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
