I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
