i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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