Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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