The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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