No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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