DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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