Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am one with the molecules
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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