Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
