We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
