so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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