shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
