I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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