Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have post one night stand depression
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
