His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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