I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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