the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
