I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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