He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
