is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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