This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
