Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
