First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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