It was confusing and full of hummus
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
