Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
