guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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