Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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