Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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