I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
