if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize