I want to stick my p in your. b.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
