Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
