Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize