thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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