Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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