Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
