fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
