I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
