Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
