I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
