i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
