my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
