Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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