I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize