no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
tell me about the fingering
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