oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
