she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
