apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize