Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
