its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
