I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize