false alarm. still invincible.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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