so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
