Jerry, you need to find god
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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