I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
