At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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