OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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