did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
love makes seman taste better
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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