I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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