i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
