Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
