So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
