Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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