I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
